expectations hurt us

Julia, thanks for your candor. I can totally relate. Its good to get this out in the open here. And I talk frequently about these issues with my students. So you’re not alone. Here’s a couple of my thoughts on the matter. i don't know if this is the variety of fear you deal with. but here's a little about my disease.

Expectations. I think these are what kill us. At least when they are unrealistic. Or bloated. Basically our pride doesn’t like to under-perform compared to what we think we should be able to do. Some of us are motivated by a perfectionism and are shattered when we even think we can’t achieve it. Some of us are motivated by approval of others and are shattered likewise. My poison is the latter. Trying to live up to some image of my self because I went to such-and-such school and still have to fight the voices of professors in my head who i haven’t seen in years. Its ugly. I have to repent repeatedly.

But its worth it. There’s always a way of escape and righteousness is always sweeter. Sometimes God even prospers our works and they come out pretty decent. Bonus!

So how to combat the fears? Here are a few thoughts. Maybe somebody else can add on. Put on humility. Go into the artwork admitting that it might turn out to be a failure, but I’m gonna do my best to be faithful. Go in light heartedly, trying to not take ourselves so seriously. Enjoy making stuff. And talking to God in the process to keep our thoughts straight. Play a little.

Okay, well, i’m actually up to date on my February watercolors. A lot of misses and a couple successes. i’ll post em on my flickr soon.

Laters,
connie

art nite

[julia writing] so tonite is "art nite". bill decided to get things moving for us, we need to set aside time each week, monday nites, to get chuggin' on NA. in the last few days, i've realized what is keeping me from starting: fear. sometimes as a designer, i fear what clients will think of my work (did i totally miss the mark? will they like it?), fear it won't be "good enough", etc. i thought about what fear really is, and this is what i came up with (for myself): fear is me assuming an outcome. "it won't be good enough, it's been so long since i touched any art that's unrelated to a computer, i'll be rusty." none of this can be present in my mind if i'm going to create anything -- especially anything that glorifies God. so, i endeavor to "play" as connie told me, and press through my fears and get back to my art again. (i say "back" because i've been a full-time designer for awhile and haven't done much of anything outside of work).

i loved beth's post from john piper-- imagination IS work. and it's DEFINITELY a God-given gift that we each have to create. i want to use my gift for His glory -- messy sketches, unfinished ideas and all -- to make His word known. fear completely aside.