gratitude & colossians

i've been very aware of my need to cultivate gratitude for my design job. i don't need to go into detail about specific complaints. it's strange, because i don't remember struggling with gratitude before. but, it's not strange! i'm a sinner.

talking to bill tonight, i said that i just wanted a complete overhaul of my personality. later he said that God already did give me an "overhaul" -- He took my dead heart and gave me a new one.

i was thinking about how to connect gratitude with colossians. the thing that strikes me the most is the last chunk of it, when Paul outlines the good news. (this is the Message translation by Eugene Peterson):

"You yourselves are a case study of what he does. At one time you all had your backs turned to God, thinking rebellious thoughts of him, giving him trouble every chance you got. But now, by giving himself completely at the Cross, actually dying for you, Christ brought you over to God's side and put your lives together, whole and holy in his presence. You don't walk away from a gift like that! You stay grounded and steady in that bond of trust, constantly tuned in to the Message, careful not to be distracted or diverted. There is no other Message—just this one. Every creature under heaven gets this same Message."

it was so apparent to me that in my sin, i had my back turned on God; felt that i "deserved better" and "more", i had a hostile mind. when we turn our backs on God, we take His holy words (the Bible) and crinkle it up like old paper and toss it aside.
for NA, i started playing around with crinkling up paper that i printed on to make a visual out of what we do to God's Word when we sin.

i can be FOREVER grateful that God gave His son for me -- for this very sin of mine and countless others -- He actually reconciled a dead sinner to Himself through His death, and made me alive.

[some words i'm using in my art:] my eyes were sewn shut, my ears sealed, my heart was a stone. BUT He reconciled Himself to me, and He gives the grace to continue.